I have a very strong hatred of grocery stores. Not just one particular chain of stores, but grocery stores in general. I hate them all, more and more every day. I have never, ever, not once, made a grocery run where the store I visited had all of the items I needed in stock. Never. I’m 29 now. I’ve been grocery shopping for myself for the past ten years now. And never once have a taken a list to the store and returned home with everything I needed.

To make things worse one branch of a store might carry three brands of a product, while another branch 3 miles away carries a completely different set of brands.  My feeble human brain cannot comprehend this.  If I can buy, say, Ole brand tortillas at one store, why can I not get that same brand at another store.

I’ve even begun to consider keeping a personal database of items and brands listed by available locations.  This way I could easily manage my list of common items.  A quick script could optimize my shopping, not only telling me the store, but placing the items in the proper order on the list so I don’t have to walk back and forth around the over-crowded, under-stocked maze of doom and despair once a week.

Yes, grocery stores must be part of some evil plot to control the human race.  They just have to be.  Nothing that purely evil, sinister, and unholy could come about on its own.